I have to be honest. I wasn't always sure I wanted to be a mom. There were those tumultuous teen years that made me believe that having children was an all around bad idea. Then in college, I thought I would be perfectly happy to spend my time and money drinking and traveling (I went to San Diego State, for goodness sake). But once I married my dear husband and we began seriously talking about starting a family, there really was little question. And then....the force took over.
I had a little surgery for endometriosis and the doc said if I wanted to have children, I had to do it now. I was pregnant in less than 4 months. I found out I was pregnant 5 days before Christmas, told our entire family on Christmas Eve, and began spotting 2 days later. We lost that little angel in very dramatic fashion, 19 days after knowing it was there.
As one might expect, I suffered some depression after losing that baby and was concerned I would never carry a baby to term. I dealt with all kinds of emotions about why things were so easy for other people in my life but I had to work so hard for everything I had (you'll see this is a theme for me).
After getting the clearance to start trying again in March, every period was a tragedy. I was convinced there would be no baby for us. Something my husband wanted so, so badly, and I was going to be the woman that couldn't give it to him. Then by some miracle.....the last week of May.....that telltale dizziness hit me at work. I nearly cartwheeled right out of there. I waited a couple of days to test so I wouldn't have to see that horrible blank area on the little stick and on May 28..................................SUCCESS!!
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